So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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