it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize