gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
