Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
