I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
