I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
