I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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