So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
