I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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