She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
