I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
