You really coming over, don't trick.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
