i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
