I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he was CRYING into my vagina
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
