If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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