i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
