fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
