I heard we made out
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
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Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
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She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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