just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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