this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
