No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
