The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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