Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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