mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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