I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
