i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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