btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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