We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
