Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
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