I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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