Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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