Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
