its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
A+ Viking dick
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
