I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
