i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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