never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
