Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
