I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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