I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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