I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
