I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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