Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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