im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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