Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
