I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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