I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
