Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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