I hate all girls vehemently.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it glows. i had to have it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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