by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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