Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
