Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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