just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
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