We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize