Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize