Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
