Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
