I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
