how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
