I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
