I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
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I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
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There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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