Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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