How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
