i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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