What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.