Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So i had sex for a couple seconds last night

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  (419): So i had sex for a couple seconds last night http://tfl.nu/eni0
  Replies (20) Good night (706) Bad night (2475)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?

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  (301): is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away? http://tfl.nu/7whm
  Replies (35) Good night (1179) Bad night (3516)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks for singing to me while i puked last night

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  (484): thanks for singing to me while i puked last night http://tfl.nu/ey2e
  Replies (9) Good night (5632) Bad night (1042)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding

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  (913): Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding http://tfl.nu/jewl
  Replies (8) Good night (3824) Bad night (1430)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you

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  (484): come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you http://tfl.nu/95xm
  Replies (4) Good night (1771) Bad night (679)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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  (214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2048) Bad night (922)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.

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  (215): the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul. http://tfl.nu/vout
  Replies (11) Good night (1918) Bad night (896)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience

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  (620): We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience http://tfl.nu/dzei
  Replies (8) Good night (1898) Bad night (633)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change

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  (702): This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change http://tfl.nu/0eyu
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (466)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.

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  (281): So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square. http://tfl.nu/ezqk
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (622)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.

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  (817): Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse. http://tfl.nu/j30i
  Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (396)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.

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  (908): I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen. http://tfl.nu/v4tf
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (364)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.

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  (941): He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it. http://tfl.nu/yjd9
  Replies (3) Good night (288) Bad night (597)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.

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  (717): The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems. http://tfl.nu/03p0
  Replies (3) Good night (382) Bad night (246)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.

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  (989): I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year. http://tfl.nu/au5f
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (94)

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