I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.