Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches

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(716): View more from New York

I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.

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(510): View more from California

Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.

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