I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time