Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a girl!!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years

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  (412): it's a girl!! (614): That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years http://tfl.nu/ln73
  Replies (30) Good night (6664) Bad night (1470)
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  (408): View more from California

  hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?

  (925): View more from California

  Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual

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  (408): hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened? (925): Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual http://tfl.nu/smzs
  Replies (6) Good night (4346) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot

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  (480): I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot http://tfl.nu/rl8p
  Replies (87) Good night (11171) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions

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  (262): i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions http://tfl.nu/1ufy
  Replies (33) Good night (4353) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.

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  (254): just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night. http://tfl.nu/wct2
  Replies (37) Good night (5405) Bad night (1110)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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  (512): Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food. http://tfl.nu/f716
  Replies (19) Good night (1779) Bad night (4079)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.

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  (402): I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise. http://tfl.nu/i6qg
  Replies (6) Good night (3338) Bad night (972)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.

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  (402): He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house. http://tfl.nu/iz51
  Replies (9) Good night (1689) Bad night (3357)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

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  (414): Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests. http://tfl.nu/dptn
  Replies (12) Good night (4276) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.

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  (540): Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man. http://tfl.nu/q2i0
  Replies (6) Good night (699) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?

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  (780): I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots? http://tfl.nu/1jdo
  Replies (8) Good night (1871) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (529): View more from

  Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.

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  (529): Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble. http://tfl.nu/he57
  Replies (10) Good night (692) Bad night (1628)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Impressive. I approve.

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  (317): Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition (1-317): Impressive. I approve. http://tfl.nu/uf2f
  Replies (4) Good night (1422) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right

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  (325): Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right http://tfl.nu/uway
  Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom

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  (781): Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom http://tfl.nu/px62
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (308)

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