that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You made out with two different species that night
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available