You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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