i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow