so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.