Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.

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  (801): Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room. http://tfl.nu/l3xg
  Replies (61) Good night (5212) Bad night (2252)
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  (415): View more from California

  some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.

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  (415): some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting. http://tfl.nu/ppub
  Replies (16) Good night (4069) Bad night (584)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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  (803): Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning http://tfl.nu/hoox
  Replies (25) Good night (4546) Bad night (1070)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.

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  (602): i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule. http://tfl.nu/edaa
  Replies (10) Good night (4098) Bad night (2418)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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  (613): There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room. http://tfl.nu/y7ti
  Replies (17) Good night (2129) Bad night (4967)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3517) Bad night (941)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?

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  (704): Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year? http://tfl.nu/w9x5
  Replies (6) Good night (3790) Bad night (1000)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (2973) Bad night (1031)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.

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  (857): You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks. http://tfl.nu/io5n
  Replies (10) Good night (3248) Bad night (771)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.

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  (814): Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry. http://tfl.nu/q7zn
  Replies (9) Good night (2957) Bad night (839)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.

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  (215): I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse. http://tfl.nu/a9fq
  Replies (6) Good night (1527) Bad night (767)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (7) Good night (2471) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.

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  (864): She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar. http://tfl.nu/4bhx
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (1161)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...

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  (317): I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras... http://tfl.nu/ubf3
  Replies (5) Good night (669) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference

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  (612): I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference http://tfl.nu/y7l1
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (166)

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